Comments on: Should children be paid to do chores http://www.activeallowance.com/blog/should-children-be-paid-to-do-chores/60/ Doing more than just "winging" it Thu, 20 Nov 2008 19:55:28 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.6.3 By: Rubyn Marcusohn http://www.activeallowance.com/blog/should-children-be-paid-to-do-chores/60/#comment-76 Rubyn Marcusohn Wed, 20 Feb 2008 18:52:33 +0000 http://www.activeallowance.com/blog/should-children-be-paid-to-do-chores/60/#comment-76 I would think that one of the basic drivers here is to ensure that our children are well equipped to live happy and fulfilling lives. One philosophical point of debate might be whether that means that we provide them with the tools to become mature responsible adults (our clones?) or we figure out what basic tools they would require to be able to go out and evolve on their own (this would likely be the more challenging and riskier option). But, since this is my input to the blog, and I choose not to endorse anarchy (at least not total...), I will get back to the point at hand...no, children should not be paid for chores. At least, not in the traditional sense. This is an opportunity to develop their relationships and responsibilities within a community. If the reward is monetary-based, it would lessen if not totally eradicate the feeling of responsibility. Perhaps some lessons in performing human kindness acts might be appropriate? I would think that one of the basic drivers here is to ensure that our children are well equipped to live happy and fulfilling lives. One philosophical point of debate might be whether that means that we provide them with the tools to become mature responsible adults (our clones?) or we figure out what basic tools they would require to be able to go out and evolve on their own (this would likely be the more challenging and riskier option). But, since this is my input to the blog, and I choose not to endorse anarchy (at least not total…), I will get back to the point at hand…no, children should not be paid for chores. At least, not in the traditional sense. This is an opportunity to develop their relationships and responsibilities within a community. If the reward is monetary-based, it would lessen if not totally eradicate the feeling of responsibility. Perhaps some lessons in performing human kindness acts might be appropriate?

]]> By: HC http://www.activeallowance.com/blog/should-children-be-paid-to-do-chores/60/#comment-72 HC Tue, 12 Feb 2008 19:04:30 +0000 http://www.activeallowance.com/blog/should-children-be-paid-to-do-chores/60/#comment-72 Well ... like most "never-ending debates" they never end because both sides make such good points. We like to read these debates, not to find the definitive answer, but because it may stimulate some new perspective on the age old questions. Two thoughts to add to the mix: First, isn't much of this context specific? Some kids you have to pay to get them in the groove of making their beds ... others would pay you to make the bed. (Serious, I have a little girl who likes nothing better!) Secondly, maybe we can pay kids for chores that are a little beyond their ken right now ... but not make it a condition for doing anything or everything. What these are, again, is specific to the child and your household. I vividly remember being paid for polishing my mothers copper ware, and siliver photo frames ... while she often forgot to give me my allowance. Why? In hindsight, I believe she so much hated doing the polishing herself, that she would do almost anything to have someone else do it for her. I felt good about receiving her payments, because there was clear value to her to a job well done. And it never felt that great to hold out my hand for a weekly donation when she was paying for my upkeep anyways. It may not be logical or consistent, but it worked for us ... isn't that the point? Well … like most “never-ending debates” they never end because both sides make such good points. We like to read these debates, not to find the definitive answer, but because it may stimulate some new perspective on the age old questions.

Two thoughts to add to the mix:
First, isn’t much of this context specific? Some kids you have to pay to get them in the groove of making their beds … others would pay you to make the bed. (Serious, I have a little girl who likes nothing better!)

Secondly, maybe we can pay kids for chores that are a little beyond their ken right now … but not make it a condition for doing anything or everything. What these are, again, is specific to the child and your household.

I vividly remember being paid for polishing my mothers copper ware, and siliver photo frames … while she often forgot to give me my allowance. Why? In hindsight, I believe she so much hated doing the polishing herself, that she would do almost anything to have someone else do it for her. I felt good about receiving her payments, because there was clear value to her to a job well done. And it never felt that great to hold out my hand for a weekly donation when she was paying for my upkeep anyways.
It may not be logical or consistent, but it worked for us … isn’t that the point?

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