The concept of “earning” – does it really need to be taught?

Here’s an interesting post from an early stage Generation Y’er (born late 1970’s) commenting on a disturbing trend for late stage Gen Y’ers – kids in their late teens. Only 48% of older teenagers have summer jobs, dramatically lower than just 10 years ago. I would imagine she sees much of this “new” attitude in her role as a corporate recruiter.

The connection between effort and results (just like work and income) is not genetic – it’s learned at home and at school. And so is the opposite: the expectation of handouts – the dreaded “entitlement” attitude. Kids are not taught to expect handouts deliberately, but that’s the lesson they receive when there’s no connection between effort and results. These handouts masquerade as “let kids be kids”, or “enhance their self-esteem” – all well-intentioned, but so is that ol’ road to ummmm, heck.

I want my kids to be kids too. I want them to have fun, enjoy their childhood, have carefree times they’ll look back on fondly. But I also want to equip them with what they’ll need to be successful in life. I send them to school for that reason. And I teach them values I consider important – maybe even the concept of “earning”. And maybe even with some humor.

Like how funny it is that hard work usually delivers great results

Many parents wrestle with the issue of allowance.

• Should I give them one? I already buy them what they need.
• If I do, what should I expect them to buy with their money?
• How much should I give them?
• Should it be linked to chores?

This article is for parents who have decided it would be a good idea, but aren’t yet sure what they want to do. Here are a few things to consider when adopting an allowance plan:

1. This isn’t about spending more money – it’s about teaching. Think of allowance as shifting spending from you to your children. Since they now make the decision, THEY make the value judgement instead of you. They get outstanding, daily learning that life is about “making choices”.
2. Don’t be afraid to let your kids make mistakes. It’s best they learn these lessons as kids when the price of a mistake is pretty low.
3. Create a mini-budget or some other set of rules to make it clear what Mom and Dad buy versus what your kids buy, and be consistent!
4. Use the system to pass on values such as saving for long-term goals and giving to charity.
5. By age 10, consider a modest clothing allowance (eg allow your child to choose/buy his t-shirts), further growing this portion of the allowance as he/she ages.
6. Decide whether you want to link allowance to chores. There will be more on this subject in a future entry. There’s no one right answer, no matter what the “experts” might say, but we have learned that this issue ranks way up there – along with politics and religion – for generating sanctimonious debate!
7. 50¢ or $1 times their age is a formula often used that sounds scientific, but is really arbitrary, teaches little and is not connected to anything in the real world. On the other hand, more complex approaches often die young because they’re too difficult to sustain (despite initial enthusiasm).Be sure that whatever approach you adopt, it’s sustainable. (We – ahem – provide tools to make a thoughtful system easy to do.)

I’m often asked if Active Allowance is “fun” for kids. I answer “It’s a vegetable”.

No, I’m not totally off my rocker! When I think about the things our kids find fun – like their latest computer game….watching TV…..playing basketball or squash – and things they find “not fun” – like school….chores…..eating vegetables – I’d say “You’re asking the wrong question. You should be asking “Is it “good” for kids”.

Active Allowance is “good” for kids. There are parts they love! Younger kids often love to help Mom and Dad around the house and they take great pride in shouldering important responsibilities….but unfortunately, they usually grow out of that wonderful phase too quickly. Older kids love to have the empowerment of having money in their family bank and autonomy in writing checks and making spending decisions. But they would usually prefer to have the money without any responsibilities (now there’s a surprise!).

So the answer to “Is it fun?” is Yes and No. There are certainly parts they love, but also parts they don’t. Kids have fun sprucing up and personalizing their Responsibility Checklists, and parents can easily come up with fun rewards. But you don’t want the process to depend on being a fun game for kids. Kids quickly tire of most games. So if that were critically important, your process would soon be dead in its tracks.

This process helps you teach your kids about responsibility, and your values, and making choices. It’s too important to stop because the kids want to move on to their latest game-of-the-month. It needs to be integrated thoughtfully into everyday life and provide an ongoing opportunity for teaching/learning. That’s our number one goal.

So I answer “Active Allowance is like vegetables. It’s good for them. Prepare them the right way and they might even like them some of the time. And you know it will be healthy for them all the time”

Now that the kids will soon be (or already are) off school for the summer, you may have noticed their usual Responsibilities Checklist doesn’t make a lot of sense (this comment makes sense to Active Allowance members) – my kids take great delight in putting NA beside “being ready for school”!

Here’s an idea for Active Allowance members:

You can create a special Summer Responsibilities checklist (as Leslie’s doing right now) and then revert to the old one after the holidays. It’s really easy to do – easy as 1, 2, 3. Here are the steps:

1. Click the NEW/COPY button on your child’s Responsibilities Checklist
2. Choose one of the options. You might want to copy her current checklist to start off, give it a new name (eg Summer Responsibilities), then modify it. Later, you can use this same screen to copy it to your other children
3. Tailor it to your heart’s content.

The “active” checklist is the one you see in the drop-down window – select the new one when summer starts. Once the kids are back at school, just reselect the old checklist and you’re done.

That’s it. Have a great holiday!

Harvey

Welcome to the Active Allowance Blog, where we will share:

• ideas,
• learning,
• headaches,
• and maybe a rant or two.

Members tell us this format is the easiest way to view and add comments….and we aim to please! Regards to all Leslie & Harvey